Monday, June 11, 2012

Absolutely Worth It

                                                                   Photo by Joe Longo

I woke up grumpy. A little frantic. A little ungrounded. A lot ungrateful.
I took my grumpy self to Highpointe Café, and berated myself along the way for: running out of my way to buy a coffee when I could save the money, the time and the dehydration.  I took my perfectly poured cup, sans one sip into the car, and grumbled about my little naggings of lack, slipped the unstable cup almost into the cupholder and viola: it exploded all over my car.
I laughed.
Apparently someone wanted to teach me a lesson about ingratitude. Call it the Universe, Murphy’s Law, Self, I got what I asked for: nothing.
The same time that I was coffeeless and chagrined, I received a text from a friend who was having a kick ass morning. Everything was unexpectedly going right for them.
I stopped.
Apparently someone wanted to show me what else could be happening: everything.
I sat on the porch, awaiting my clients, and realizing what a little brat I was being to the Universe. Here I am, doing what I love, with people I adore, and I was complaining and worrying over things that hadn’t happened yet. Translation: things that may never happen. I was so busy complaining that I had to start dropping things I did want to make room for all my grumblings. Sure it was just a cup of coffee, but the Universe fills the Space with what you are holding Space for. I was pouting, arms crossed, no room to receive, so I lost a little something.
I ended my day, after full sessions with wonderful clients, sitting at a restaurant raucously laughing with a dear friend over the humilities of life. I strolled down the very same street I had clomped down earlier that morning a much happier person.
I reflected on my morning spill, my rant of worries: How to get plan a, b, and z done perfectly. How I would ever finish my curriculum, juggle travel, open my heart, and get my teeth cleaned. How I would overcome obstacles that I was creating for myself, begrudging that I was not doing or being enough, guilting myself for being too indulgent, too reckless, too this, too that.
Then, I shut my mind up. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but right now, as I slipped down Germantown Avenue, I was good. The night was good. Life was good.
That coffee was priceless. It turned my whole day around.  $3.50 and a whole lot of scrubbing of white vinegar eradicated my sour residue. What a small price to pay.

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